Friday, 26 August 2011

What women don't talk about...

On a rare morning off this morning (as in no children and no work) i took myself off to the shops. New moisturiser, new jumper, some paint tester pots (for my quest to create the perfect home)... all quite run-of-the-mill.

I saved the best stop for last - threading.

I LOVE threading. I am addicted, having been converted in 2007 by some co-workers who could not believe i DARE pluck my eyebrows. Now i completely understand their viewpoint, and frequently force it upon others with whom i might happen to chat to about beauty related topics (not as often as I'd like, but it happens).

Having my eyebrows threaded is my relaxing time, my 'me' time, i don't find it particularly painful, in fact i find it quite therapeutic, and it's cheap.

However, i do skulk in, hoping no one sees me going in and especially not coming out. Why? I hear you ask. Well, quite simply, it's the 'tache.

Hello, my name is Steph, and i have a hairy lip. Nice.



Threading takes care of this quite nicely, it does hurt like hell having it done, but it's necessary. I ask for them to do it first, and do it quick. This is to enable my eyes to stop watering, and my red lip to fade before i have to leave the shop, and walk through town with my head pointed down, where I'm sure i can still hear people whispering 'That woman's got a mustache'.

I've always been a bit hairy. I'm sure, at times, Chewbacca would have an easier time at the waxers than me. Being blessed with poly-cystic ovarian syndrome, excess hair is a symptom, and having two children certainly served to reduce it a bit (whilst creating a whole host of other body issues, bless them), yet business still needs taking care of. I'm fine with this, and secure in the knowledge that loads of other women have it done, yet don't talk about it (although, really, i think we should talk about it more, it would take the edge off the embarrassment, slightly). That was, however, until the therapist uttered these words to me:

'Chin, madam?'

Wednesday, 24 August 2011

Babies and Toddlers with Chicken Pox

Over the last 3 weeks, my house has been closed quarters. No friends (except the brave ones), no visitors (except the Grandparents - 'tis their duty...), and not much fun.

Chicken pox hit the little green house.



T1 was the first to bite the dust. Being almost 3, and in a nursery where practically all the doors may as well have big red slashes on them with large signs reading 'Parents, please note we have several cases of Chicken Pox within the nursery', we'd been awaiting it. When it arrived, after weeks of warnings from caring nursery nurses of 'He's got a snotty nose, that'll be the chicken pox', and 'He's a bit strange today, that'll be the chicken pox' (whereas, in fact, strange and snotty are two words that can regularly be used to describe T1) when it did eventually arrive, it arrived without much fanfare at all. A singular spot on his stomach, which was dutifully ignored in a loving parental way, that overnight turned in to a crop which spread over the next few days into a full on blistering rash, from scalp to toe.

A temperature accompanied, but was held off with the normal Calpol and Nurofen routines, and allergy relief syrup helped the itching (i would say Piriton, but I'm too cheap, sorry, it was Tesco's own).

I was quite excited to get a bit of allergy relief into him... after hearing from other parents who's offspring have taken it, the stories of sound sleeps, long lay ins, lovely naps, all caused by this magic sleepy syrup.

No. Not the case at all. In fact, it sent him a bit odd. Early wake ups, twitchyness, i can't sit still EVER even more than usual behaviour. So the allergy syrup was dumped, in favour of cool jugs of bicarbonate of soda water dumped over the head.

T1 is a hairy little soul. I would say that by far his head was the itchiest area. I did at one point think about getting the Bic out, and taking it all off, but felt that short term itchiness was by far preferable to looking at a shaven headed two year old in the long term.

(Shaved heads in young children are one of my pet hates - I'll save that gem for another day).

Calamine lotion after the bath, everywhere, it smells but it works. And Vitamin E cream once he'd scabbed, which smells much better, but it a nightmare to put all over a pre-schooler who'd rather be jumping on his bed. Or me. Or his brother. Just jumping really. Jumping jumping jumping. I found giving him a blob, and telling him to rub it into his bottom kept him still just long enough. Boys and their bums eh?

Dutifully, after one week back at nursery, T2 came down with it. T2 was a whole different ball game, being so much younger, so much fatter (baby fat, not, like, i only feed him KFC fat) and so much less able to communicate what was wrong. At aged 12 months, we treated him much the same as T1, but with a few added extras.

3 baths a day - OK i know this is not going to be popular with the environment, or the husband when the water bill arrives, but it kept him happy. Just water and a couple of spoons of bicarbonate of soda.

Cuddles - He can't tell you what's wrong, and he can't stop itching, so cuddles act both as a comfort, and a motherly restraining order on his hands.

Nappy off time - HOWEVER, do not do as i do, which was leave him unattended, then wander back in a few minutes later to see a trail of T2poo, and T2 happily playing in his own filth. Especially if you have carpets. Oh the joy.

T2 did not want to eat, ever. He deigned to eat a fish finger stolen from his brothers plate, occasionally a breadstick, and ANYTHING he found on the floor. But he didn't starve, and he was drinking water and milk, so don't worry. Which was what i did.

So the scabs are falling off, the appetites are returning, nursery aren't being paid to not look after my children any more, and i can be that mother now, who smiles and smugly say's 'Chicken Pox? We've had it!'